Tuesday, February 23, 2010

By Way of Introduction

Introductions are important. Very important. One just simply cannot go forward with a new situation unless introductions are made. Once they've been established the universe is permitted to carry out its purpose...whatever that is. I will leave the religions to discern what purpose the universe has for I have more pressing matters. This blog, with rare few exceptions including this first post, is in the style of letters written to my arch nemesis.

Who is my Arch Nemesis you ask? He is another guy living near me. He stands against all light, truth, justice, the American Way, and all that good, righteous stuff. Yes, I am your average, oh so humble fighter for all that is right. It is quite doubtful my Arch Nemesis even knows that we are Arch Nemeses. He's the kind to say hello cheerfully and naively, fully unaware of the foul stench of his evil-ness. But fear not! I am here to uncover that and reveal his awful designs!

How are we nemeses? It boils down to simple polarities that exist between us: he is conservative and I am liberal, he is a theist and I am an atheist, and he opposes the rights of gays while I fight for them (may have something to do with the fact that I chase after guys while he runs away from girls and guys). Some things will make sense...and some will not. Kind of how it goes, I guess. There are other differences between us: I am right and he is wrong, I am cute and he is ugly, I am smart and he is dumb, I do not put quotes on every flat surface and he does, I live in reality (when it suits me) and he does not (when it suits him).

One day he may realize we are nemeses and then the game will really be afoot. Until then, I shall oppose his evil designs from shadow. There, introductions have been made. Carry on, universe.

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