Monday, May 16, 2011

Skim for the Pictures

Dear Sentry,

Today I wish to talk about my love life (or lack of it). My poor wife has already heard enough of this comedic aspect of my life. I will somehow refrain from making this letter a real tear-jerker and focus on the real emotion you should feel from this: humor. So, wife, if you're reading this...dear god, I pray for your soul.

I'd like to view my love life as a work in progress, Sentry. A real fixer-upper, if you will. I don't say that with any woe-is-me sentiment. I will not be dropping to my knees tonight praying that my life were otherwise. Why? Cause I love my life as it is: for all the good and bad. I have great friends though sometimes they do the strangest things. For example, I used to believe that I was a cuddle slut. The first time I knew I had met the lady that would be my wife was when she cuddled with my bum. Yes, a frightening story, Sentry: a lesbian making contact with a gay man's ass. But that's how I knew we were meant to be husband and wife (please note I did not write married). I would cuddle with anything or anyone, almost: man, woman, dog, cat, pillow, even a stuffed animal. Hell, I've done all of that, Sentry. And I'm right proud of it. Cuddling is fun! Except when people put their hands down my shirt to touch my chest. I always have to turn to them and be like, "Enjoying my moobs?" That usually stops them but it's this awkward moment where I have to remind people that this man's skin need not be touched while actually cuddling. But that's a story for another time.

But I have discovered that I'm evidently lame in my cuddling when it comes to my friends. I am put to shame in my cuddling by them. For them, cuddling is practically a religious experience. If there is a cuddling god (albeit one major lazy god), these are some of his/her/it's most devoted followers. They are equal opportunity cuddlers, I've discovered, Sentry. In one regaling story of cuddling, men and women essentially were lumped together in a massive cuddle session. Clearly, I have been out-cuddled. Straight, bi, and lesbian men and women have gathered in this. Ah, Sentry, I am vanilla in my cuddling. Have I lost my...edginess? Will I ever triumph over their mass cuddling?

In other news, I'm quite the catch, Sentry! I know, it caught me off guard too when I discovered this. You'd think my lack of consistently shaving my facial hair would have turned them away in droves, but evidently not. But, back to the story. Yes, I'm quite the catch, Sentry. Well...I'm quite the catch for men old enough to be my grandfather. I write this with a bit of an addition, Sentry. I have no issue or problem with guys that are interested in inter-generational dating. More power to them, I say. What? You're eighteen and attracted to a fifty year old? Cool. It's just not my thing. But, back to the story, Sentry. I'm quite the catch, evidently. A man, nearly seventy years old, was recently chatting me up and requesting that we hang out at his place. Now I may not be the most savvy gay man in the world. God knows, and my friend, that I have little to no fashion sense. But still, I am the man that every, er, older man dreams of. So, to make this story short and stop meandering, I politely explained my concern over our age difference. The man chose to not pay attention to this comment and kept on talking to me. Yes, Sentry, the man would not take no for an answer. I politely explained three times to him that I just wasn't interested. Four if you count the fact that a year ago he hit me up as well, but that's neither here nor there. He finally took the hint and now we no longer talk. That's the latest news in my romance life.

Oh, the last sentence was a lie. I've been crushing on a guy recently, Sentry. Yes, I realize this is nothing new. I believe that my brain insists that I crush on someone regularly. As soon as I get over someone, suddenly I'm interested in another person. You'd think my hormones would catch on that I'm just not really interested in dating...but when has my body, let alone other people, ever listened to me? So, yes, I like another person. And like all comedies, we are mismatched in being able to find time to even possibly go on a date. That and I'm odd. See, I am a chatterbox as you already know so well, Sentry. Can't shut me up normally. Yet around him, I cannot bring myself to breach the topic of us going on a date so all I can do is be a cheerleader for him in his dating life. I can't help but laugh, Sentry. Here I am, tongue-tied over this guy and still playing the supporting role of wanting to know how the three dates he has this week with three different guys goes over. Do I hope things go well? Of course. And I hope they fail...because I want a chance, ha ha! Ah well, I say this to myself: Courage, get off your ass and come over here. I need you for a moment or two. I might succeed in getting up the nerve to ask him out. Wish me luck...maybe, Sentry?

That's the state of my love life. If I ever had my life portrayed as a movie, I'd ask for it to be as a comedy. Tragedy would be too dull, but comedy would put a nice spin on things. I mean, really now, who wants to see a "Woe is me" about...well, me? I don't. I'd rather portray the ironies of my life, the oddities of my family, the petty and silly acts I have committed throughout my life, and the bumbling efforts at romance and love on my part. It would be sheer comedy! Now, I've shared it all for now, Sentry. No, don't be an ass and tell me things will get better. They will or won't. It doesn't matter now. Things are good now. That's what matters to me.

Your friend,

A Goal for the Summer

Dear Sentry,

I made a goal for the summer just a few weeks back. It was to watch a gay/transgender or drag queen/lesbian movie a week. Because of that I have gained a new appreciation for movies that explore the LGBT theme. It has led me to want to understand even more about transgender issues. Sentry, I have grown to appreciate, even if only a tiny bit, the desire that all of us have to live our lives with dignity. I've only completed one rotation of this. This week starts the new rotation. But I will share with you the movies that I have watched and a few of my thoughts on the movies.

Summer Storm
Summer Storm was incredibly dramatic. I first watched this when I was a freshman in college. I was still in the closet so watching it touched too near the heart on how I felt about coming out. When I watched it this summer, several years after coming out, I felt a sense of relief. Then I was able to notice and appreciate the beauty of the film itself. I really did like it, Sentry. But it's still very drama-y, ha ha!

Kinky Boots
I love this movie. There's just something about the character Lolla that you can't help but admire, Sentry. I believe its her strength in the face of cruelty, hatred, and a refusal to treat her as an equal. I loved it because of her mostly. I really can't wait to watch more movies this summer during the weeks that I watch draq queens, transvestite, and/or transgender films. It was clever and funny at the same time. 

The Kids Are All Right

The movie was practically perfect. Why? The characters were believable to me. It was believable that they loved each other and were a family. I loved how the characters interacted and dealt with the problems that they faced. It was just amazing! I loved the acting in this movie! The Kids Are All Right has become one of my favorite movies now. 

The Broken Hearts Club
This movie won't be shown yet. I watched it in advance while decided whether to show it this week or A Single Man. I love this movie for all the humor and actors that I recognized. I loved that the movie focused on post-coming out lives. As much as I enjoy a good "coming out" film, I do like ones that explore life beyond that. This is one of those movies where you can sit back and laugh and still feel it speaks to you on an emotional level too. 
A Single Man
I watched this movie yesterday for the first time in my life. I confess, it stole my breath away. I fell in love with the music, the story, and the cinematography. It was breathtaking and made you smile and cry throughout the whole movie. I couldn't stop watching it! And by the end of the movie, I was just stunned. I literally called up a friend after, Sentry, just to gush about how amazing the movie was. I haven't watched a new film like that in a long time. Most films I've watched recently that were for the first time (except for Kinky Boots) have not really impressed me. They have been "bleh." But this movie made me pause and fall in love with it. Sentry, I highly recommend this film to you. If you have never seen this movie, do so now. You won't regret it, I promise that!

So there, Sentry. I have shared my goal for this summer. I love it so far! I can't wait to watch more films. I thought I would share with you some of the movies that will be on the list for this summer. If you have any that you recommend, I'd love to know, Sentry. Thanks :)

Presque Rien (Come Undone)
8: The Mormon Proposition

Transgender/Drag Queen/Transvestite:
Boys Don't Cry

Imagine Me and You
But I'm a Cheerleader

Your friend,

And finally, a song from A Single Man: