Tuesday, February 23, 2010

As Natural as a Fish in Water

Arch Nemesis,

Yesterday when I booed at your traitorous deeds, I succeeded in getting the common folk to join in. Our thunderous (or more like scattered) anger towards you cowed you into silence even if for only a moment. Now sure, you may say that such was not the case. It was all in good fun. Perhaps. Perhaps, indeed, my arch nemesis. But perhaps not! Perhaps the people are well aware of your nefarious deeds. See you for the darkness that is you!

Certainly it was not because I started it and they thought it was funny. No, the people are much smarter than that. They most certainly did not see a good time in my honest and just strike against you. They definitely were not booing you because of your abandoning this church group, or ward, to fulfill your terribly boring lusts (such as fiddling with computers and awkwardly asking girls out before avoiding them). And they most certainly did not encourage you to come back with listening to your message and then clapping at the end. I shall reveal their true intent: they were clapping for your departure!!!

Now we may have our differences, Arch Nemesis, like light is opposed to darkness and water to fire; neither can abide the presence of the other. But we have our similarities too: we both breathe. But I have often puzzled over why you think the way you do. I mean, clearly, it's wrong and I freely admit that this is so for you. I am right. This state of things is as natural as a fish in water and we all know how much your side loves the natural argument. I also love the natural argument too, but only when it suits chaste depravity.

But I have to ask myself this question: why do you care so much about what you fight for? Why do you oppose gay marriage, adoption by gay parents, the secularization of society, and the liberal policies of the current administration? Surely you know that you are wrong and I, by just being me, am right? But I suppose I am kidding myself to think you know better. Still I wonder.

In closing, as this was meant to be short (I am about to enjoy watching our current president own the House Republicans) I quote Alfalfa, "You are the scum between my toes."

May you see reason someday,
Mr. Sanity

No comments:

Post a Comment