Now I'm Talking About Boys

Dear Sentry,

The lovely lady list has been put up. My wife has commented on it. Now it's time for the man list.

Robert Downey Jr.
He is one of my favorite actors. I loved him in Iron Man and absolutely loved him in Sherlock Holmes. I love the way he acts and the personality of his characters. Mr. Downey, I would marry you in heart beat (sorry, wife ;) )

Mitch Hewer
He's a hottie. I fully admit to liking this boy based first on looks and then second on acting. I saw him in Skins and loved him in it. He is a wonderful actor, in case you're wondering.

 

Nicholas Hoult

He was also in Skins with Mitch Hewer. But I loved him in A Single Man

 

Neil Patrick Harris

What more can be said after stating his name? Nothing that's what. That's how awesome Mr. Neil Patrick Harris is.

Taye Diggs

Idina Menzel, I approve of your husband. I love that they met on Rent. 

Jay Brannon
He is one of my favorite singers. I love his voice. It's magical, in case you wanted to know.

 

Ryan Kwanten

This Australian actor is MF hot!!!! If you need to know what "mf" stands for, go look at gorgeous individuals of your attraction(s) and start using "hot" to describe them. Eventually you'll find some are more than hot and the "mf" abbreviation works (but do not shout "mf." Say the word). Oh...and Ryan Kwanten is a great actor as well. I first saw him in the Australian kids show Spellbinder. I love him in True Blood. Ryan, this song sums up what I want to do with you. Never has stupidity been so hot!

Enrique Iglesias

Who wouldn't want this man (other than my wife...)? He is a wonderful voice and he is a cutie!

 Rob Lowe

I love him in West Wing. He's one of my favorite actors in it (well, after Allison Janney). 

Jon Stewart

The man is genius. Pure genius. That's all.

Paul Blackthorne
I loved him in Dresden Files as "Harry Dresden." I loved the character that he played in it and was always intrigued by the actor. Mr. Blackthorne is a fun guy to like!

Dante Basco

The beautiful and forever-young Rufio!!!!! Loved him as Prince Zuko in Avatar: The Last Airbender and in But I'm a Cheerleader.

 

David Archuleta

This final one is more for a friend of mine. He knows who (if he still reads this, lol!). I'm not a huge fan of Mr. Archuleta but he is cute 

These are the men. So long for now, Sentry!

Your friend,

Traveler

The title is taken from a funny video I saw earlier this year.

Good Realization

Dear Sentry,

I had a fun conversation with a good friend of mine. I honestly don't get to see him enough. We talked about our dating lives. He made me realize something about my life. I realized, Sentry, that I am not at a point in my life where I want to date. I feel comfortable not wanting anything. This realization was nice, Sentry. It meant that I didn't have to pretend to myself that I wanted something. Someday, perhaps, I'll want to date. Right now, though, there just isn't anyone that I want. There are certainly many amazing and wonderful guys out there. But I haven't met a guy that I want to date right now. So, this is a letter that I write giving me permission to relax. I'm fine with not wanting anyone and not needing anyone to like me, ha ha!

Your friend,
Traveler

You Know You Want Them

Dear Sentry,

My friend compiled a list of actresses that he liked so I thought I would do the same. If you haven't taken a look at his list, I recommend it. I liked his selection of women! Anyway, my letters have been too depressing lately. So I want to write something cheery! And what better way to cheer my up then to gawk at actresses and singers?

Women. We all love them even if we don't want them, ha ha! So here are twelve women that I like for various reasons.

Rihanna

I have always admired her music. I find Rihanna to be incredibly beautiful, as well. 

Megan Mullally

In my Holy Trinity , Karen Walker (Megan Mullally) is "God the Awesome." I loved her in Will and Grace and find her to be beautiful even years after the end of the show. She is just one of those ladies I'd love to get to know personally! Plus, who wouldn't want a gin-soaked friend that is too stoned to know what's going on around her but aware enough to make sassy comments on your ugly wardrobe? Point made.

 

Tracie Thoms

She played opposite Idina Menzel in the musical "Rent." I loved her in it! She was the only reason I ever watched the "Cold Case" show. That blond chick couldn't hold a candle to Tracie Thoms.

Emma Stone

She was wonderful in "Easy A." I love her voice and the character, Olive, that she portrayed in the movie. I also think she has a quirky beauty to her.

Penelope Cruz

She's a hottie That's all there is to it. And you can quote me on that. Loved her in "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides."

Li Gong

She played in "Memoirs of a Geisha." I recommend watching that movie if you haven't seen it. I just find her amazing.

 

Idina Menzel

I loved her in "Rent," love hearing her voice for "Wicked," and loved her small role in "Enchanted." She is one of my favorite actresses out there. Her voice is wonderful to my eyes :) And she has excellent taste in men (Taye Diggs)!

Julianne Moore

She was amazing in "The Kids Are All Right" and "A Single Man." She's an amazing actress. She's pretty. What more can I say?

Bernadette Peters

I loved her as the Witch in "Into the Woods." She has a fantastic voice! 

Suzuka Ohgo

She plays opposite Li Gong in "Memoirs of a Geisha." Also very beautiful!

Natalie Portman

What can be said about her? She just shines in everything that I've seen her in. I absolutely loved her in V for Vendetta. And I think she is one of the prettiest actresses out there.

Adele
One of the best musicians out there today. Her voice is amazing! Adele, I'd gladly marry you!

 

And this concludes my list of favorite actresses and musicians. Thanks, Sentry!

Your friend,

Traveler

Letter to Dad

Dear Dad,

I wanted to write this about you but not necessarily to you. Please know that if you ever read this letter, I was trying to better understand you and that is why I wrote this. I do not require a response as I'm sure how I see you will continue to evolve. It is my desire to understand you better, both the good and bad in you. So this is my attempt.

The evidence first. You were the youngest in a family that was inactive. That family became active through, I would be willing to bet, much of your effort. You had a hand in getting your parents sealed in the temple. You went on a mission and came back to marry two years later. You had kids and stayed married to that woman for many years, and still are married to her. You have held countless jobs and have gone back to school to improve your education and job opportunities. I have watched you build businesses one after another. In my eyes, your resume is impressive. But I realize that I do not know the full story of this aspect of your life. I only know that day after day and year after year you would come home frustrated and tired at everything in your life. In church you have held many callings from Nursery teacher to High Councilman.

Each of your children has disappointed you in some way or another. Your oldest divorced his first wife, remarried a woman with no interest in religion, and has long since lost interest in organized religion. Your only daughter has had a history of trouble that has left your wife crying late into the night and deepened your own frustrations. Your youngest never achieved his full athletic talent in your eyes and declined to serve a mission. Then there is me: an atheistic, openly gay, voting Democrat, and liberally-minded son. I may be the biggest "failure" in your eyes but I think that is only because I'm the latest one to show that I do not agree 100% with everything you wanted me to do in life.

I have reached a conclusion about you. I have listened to you talk about groups, political movements, and businesses opportunities and collaborations that would make you something more than you are. As I have listened I have watched you talk with a zeal and longing to belong to these movements. To be apart of something bigger than yourself. In all that I have heard, seen, and learned about you it seems like you feel lost. Do you see your life as a long series of failures stretching from your career to your family? I know you regret never having served in Vietnam and that you wish you had been born earlier enough to have fought during World War Two. So I would guess (and perhaps I'm wrong) that you are frustrated with where you are at. Everything you have accomplished and sought seems to have been in one long journey to find something to give your everything to.

Am I wrong? I cannot help but think that I am very near correct in this latest view of you: a man that has accomplished much but feels he should be apart of something bigger than he is. I do not know the full depth of your life as you have chosen to keep much of it from me and I respect that. Just know that I would love and accept you for all that you are: strengths and supposed faults. After all, you are my father. You are someone that I still look up to and admire despite the pain of these past few weeks.

There are things that I am considering, Dad. Things that may tear us apart ultimately. I feel, though, that in order to help heal myself and improve me, I must make some very difficult choices over the course of this next year. So, with this new view of you in my head, I will try to be sensitive to your needs but at the same time I can't wait anymore for you to reach where I'm at.

Love,
Your Son

P.S. A video you would enjoy

Tears

Dear Sentry,

As I write this...I feel empty inside. It is a sense of false peace. I am merely sitting on a sea momentarily calmed in the midst of a storm waiting for the next wave to crash over and drown me. I warn you in advance, this is not a happy letter. There are no happy thoughts for me today. Today, my heart is broken and I feel once more at a loss when it comes to my family. I wish to share with you, Sentry, what I would say to my father in letter form if I could talk to him now.

Dad,

I know that right now you don't want to hear from me. And I suppose I don't blame you. You have accused me of lying to and stealing from you. And after hearing how you see things, I cannot really disagree with you. But please, here this tiny plea for understanding.

My heart is breaking right now. I feel at a loss when I return to the words you spoke to me just a couple hours ago. How you do not "condone or condemn" me. But you do judge me. My heart breaks because I have become evil in your sight. My worst fears have been realized. 

Look, I know right now that it's gonna be difficult to love me. And I realize that despite everything I want, you will love me differently. But I only ask one day that you hug me and hold me close and whisper that you love me so that I know that it is without attachment or expectation instead of now...where I feel I've disappointed you and lost that love. 

I apologize for letting you down. It was never my intention to steal money from you. My thievery was done out of fear. Fear of not knowing how to proceed. Fear of not knowing where to turn for advice. The money I stole from you was out of negligence. I have been in anguish over what to do about my education. How could I possibly tell you what was going on in my life when I feared exactly your response? I did not maliciously take the money from you. I do not with evil thought in mind force your hand to continue to help pay for my loans and car insurance. 

Look, I know that you think I'm doing this to punish me. But that's not true. I am not seeking to change school as a way to punish myself for breaking the promises I made. If I wanted that, I would be going about it in a different way. What I'm trying to do is to do what I feel and think is right. I'm trying to live a life of honor and honesty. How can I continue on as I am and look myself in the eye or you, or Mom? I could not. 

You hate what I've become. You hate who I am. But these are things I cannot change. I am gay. And I can no longer believe in a God. I do not hate you for being straight or believing in God. I do not think you stupid or wrong or evil. But you do. 

I only want to do what is right. I only want to live a life with dignity and strength. I'm tired of lying to myself and to others. This has been building up for a long time, Dad. I did not tell you early on because it was a battle I have been struggling with. When I told you these things, I came to you for advice but I should have known you would judge me. In your eyes, I deserve nothing less. I have let you down in every way today. 

In every way.

Please, Dad, if you wish to punish me, do so. There is my self-flagellation. Take the car, refuse to help pay my loans, and cut me off. I fear, though, that if you do this, my heart will shatter. And once shattered, a chasm will have forever opened up between us. We will no longer be bound by familial ties. I have betrayed you and you will have betrayed me. I beg you now, please don't do that. I will not survive this if you do so. 

We will be saying goodbye on that day, if you do so. 

Your son,
For All Time

My heart is breaking, Sentry. My dad accused me of stealing and lying by not telling him that I had stopped following the rules and commandments of the Church. That I had, in essence, broken my covenants. For that, he wants retribution. He has decided to mull things over and to calm down before telling my mom. He believes she will scream for me to be cut off from them. Sentry, I fear I am facing the end of my relationship with my parents. I fear they will, in anger, decide that I cannot be their child anymore.

Today and tonight, Sentry, I am alone in a way I have never felt. Right now, I wish I had a hero in my life. Someone to comfort me through it all. To offer me hope because I don't know what to do right now except to prepare for the worse. To prepare for their permanent departure from my life. Will you be by my side, Sentry, or will you also decide to slip away from me?

Yours friend,
The Lost Traveler

Songs on my mind right now:

  

Religion...Where?

Dear Sentry,

Religion has been on my mind a lot recently. Discussions of God, homosexuality and faith, religions, religion within societies, and such. So far, Sentry, I have met straight and gay people that are nearly every shade of religious and non-religious possible throughout my life. I'm sure there are many more varieties but for now, I feel that I have experienced enough to discuss some of this with you, Sentry.

So what does religion and faith mean to you, Sentry? What are your experiences with faith and with organized religions? As is probably obvious, I was raised Mormon. I do not regret this and am not ashamed of that. My parents taught me to be honest, hard working, charitable, quick to forgive, and eager to learn. These lessons are still with me. They may no longer carry a God-oriented attachment to them, but they still carry the force of importance in them that they've always had while growing up.

My family came across the plains with the Mormons on my father's side. My great-great grandfather helped settle the Cache Valley area of Utah. My mother's side crossed the plains after the railroads connected the American coasts. They settled up in Montpelier, Idaho. My own parents were married in an LDS temple. Each of my siblings and I were baptized and raised in the Church. My sister's oldest son was baptized into the Church earlier this year. All the boys in my family received the Aaronic and Melchizedek Priesthoods. My older brother and I both served missions. My parents are still heavily involved with the Church to this day. All of my mother's friends are Mormon these days.

My point in sharing that, Sentry, is to show a small amount of the impact religion has had on my family's lives. Religion has influenced my life. Since my mission I have taken a look at other religions to see how they think and believe. I have gone to the Hare Krishna temple south of here, the Evangelical Christian church that meets in a converted car mechanic shop, the beautiful cathedral of the Catholics near Temple Square, and the small Episcopal chapel in the town I live in. A small number, yes, but enough to allow me to discover diversity of religious views even in this state.

It's my hope and desire to talk with you further about religious subjects. After all, religion is a powerful thing. It has occupied the minds of billions of people throughout history and around this planet today. Thinking it's no big deal is childish at best.

What do you think about all this, Sentry?

Your friend,
Traveler