I had a fun conversation with a good friend of mine. I honestly don't get to see him enough. We talked about our dating lives. He made me realize something about my life. I realized, Sentry, that I am not at a point in my life where I want to date. I feel comfortable not wanting anything. This realization was nice, Sentry. It meant that I didn't have to pretend to myself that I wanted something. Someday, perhaps, I'll want to date. Right now, though, there just isn't anyone that I want. There are certainly many amazing and wonderful guys out there. But I haven't met a guy that I want to date right now. So, this is a letter that I write giving me permission to relax. I'm fine with not wanting anyone and not needing anyone to like me, ha ha!
My friend compiled a list of actresses that he liked so I thought I would do the same. If you haven't taken a look at his list, I recommend it. I liked his selection of women! Anyway, my letters have been too depressing lately. So I want to write something cheery! And what better way to cheer my up then to gawk at actresses and singers?
Women. We all love them even if we don't want them, ha ha! So here are twelve women that I like for various reasons.
Rihanna
I have always admired her music. I find Rihanna to be incredibly beautiful, as well.
Megan Mullally
In my Holy Trinity , Karen Walker (Megan Mullally) is "God the Awesome." I loved her in Will and Grace and find her to be beautiful even years after the end of the show. She is just one of those ladies I'd love to get to know personally! Plus, who wouldn't want a gin-soaked friend that is too stoned to know what's going on around her but aware enough to make sassy comments on your ugly wardrobe? Point made.
Tracie Thoms
She played opposite Idina Menzel in the musical "Rent." I loved her in it! She was the only reason I ever watched the "Cold Case" show. That blond chick couldn't hold a candle to Tracie Thoms.
Emma Stone
She was wonderful in "Easy A." I love her voice and the character, Olive, that she portrayed in the movie. I also think she has a quirky beauty to her.
Penelope Cruz
She's a hottie That's all there is to it. And you can quote me on that. Loved her in "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides."
Li Gong
She played in "Memoirs of a Geisha." I recommend watching that movie if you haven't seen it. I just find her amazing.
Idina Menzel
I loved her in "Rent," love hearing her voice for "Wicked," and loved her small role in "Enchanted." She is one of my favorite actresses out there. Her voice is wonderful to my eyes :) And she has excellent taste in men (Taye Diggs)!
Julianne Moore
She was amazing in "The Kids Are All Right" and "A Single Man." She's an amazing actress. She's pretty. What more can I say?
Bernadette Peters
I loved her as the Witch in "Into the Woods." She has a fantastic voice!
Suzuka Ohgo
She plays opposite Li Gong in "Memoirs of a Geisha." Also very beautiful!
Natalie Portman
What can be said about her? She just shines in everything that I've seen her in. I absolutely loved her in V for Vendetta. And I think she is one of the prettiest actresses out there.
Adele
One of the best musicians out there today. Her voice is amazing! Adele, I'd gladly marry you!
And this concludes my list of favorite actresses and musicians. Thanks, Sentry!
I wanted to write this about you but not necessarily to you. Please know that if you ever read this letter, I was trying to better understand you and that is why I wrote this. I do not require a response as I'm sure how I see you will continue to evolve. It is my desire to understand you better, both the good and bad in you. So this is my attempt.
The evidence first. You were the youngest in a family that was inactive. That family became active through, I would be willing to bet, much of your effort. You had a hand in getting your parents sealed in the temple. You went on a mission and came back to marry two years later. You had kids and stayed married to that woman for many years, and still are married to her. You have held countless jobs and have gone back to school to improve your education and job opportunities. I have watched you build businesses one after another. In my eyes, your resume is impressive. But I realize that I do not know the full story of this aspect of your life. I only know that day after day and year after year you would come home frustrated and tired at everything in your life. In church you have held many callings from Nursery teacher to High Councilman.
Each of your children has disappointed you in some way or another. Your oldest divorced his first wife, remarried a woman with no interest in religion, and has long since lost interest in organized religion. Your only daughter has had a history of trouble that has left your wife crying late into the night and deepened your own frustrations. Your youngest never achieved his full athletic talent in your eyes and declined to serve a mission. Then there is me: an atheistic, openly gay, voting Democrat, and liberally-minded son. I may be the biggest "failure" in your eyes but I think that is only because I'm the latest one to show that I do not agree 100% with everything you wanted me to do in life.
I have reached a conclusion about you. I have listened to you talk about groups, political movements, and businesses opportunities and collaborations that would make you something more than you are. As I have listened I have watched you talk with a zeal and longing to belong to these movements. To be apart of something bigger than yourself. In all that I have heard, seen, and learned about you it seems like you feel lost. Do you see your life as a long series of failures stretching from your career to your family? I know you regret never having served in Vietnam and that you wish you had been born earlier enough to have fought during World War Two. So I would guess (and perhaps I'm wrong) that you are frustrated with where you are at. Everything you have accomplished and sought seems to have been in one long journey to find something to give your everything to.
Am I wrong? I cannot help but think that I am very near correct in this latest view of you: a man that has accomplished much but feels he should be apart of something bigger than he is. I do not know the full depth of your life as you have chosen to keep much of it from me and I respect that. Just know that I would love and accept you for all that you are: strengths and supposed faults. After all, you are my father. You are someone that I still look up to and admire despite the pain of these past few weeks.
There are things that I am considering, Dad. Things that may tear us apart ultimately. I feel, though, that in order to help heal myself and improve me, I must make some very difficult choices over the course of this next year. So, with this new view of you in my head, I will try to be sensitive to your needs but at the same time I can't wait anymore for you to reach where I'm at.
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